Bam Margera Has A Message For Our Fans

I have always been a dreamer.

Growing up, one of my favorite TV shows was The O.C. — a teen soap opera about the trials and tribulations of Newport Beach's angsty elite. So when I was perusing my new favorite tax write-off cameo.com, I was thrilled to see that Mischa Barton — the actress who played Marissa Cooper — was volunteering her iconicity to legions of fans. This was quite simply a dream come true. But I hit a bump in the road. After hiring an elite team of WGA members to write a top-notch monologue for the starlet and then spending hours crafting the perfect Cameo request, I opened up my Gmail Inbox:

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A couple minutes later, I checked cameo.com and saw that Mischa had the audacity to raise her rate. Did Mischa reject us so she could then charge us more? This was some Lehman Brothers level of chutzpah. I was furious. 

"MISCHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A friend tried to console me — "I love me a scammer tbh."

I felt hopeless. I felt sad. I was afraid for the future of Dish Rag Magazine. It might have been a heatwave but Los Angeles never felt so cold. However, life moves on. I got back on the horse, rode off into the sunset, and then found Bam Margera — the skateboarding star of Jackass and Viva La Bam. 

His video message is brilliant, show-stopping, spectacular, amazing, totally unique, breathtaking, enthralling, cosmic, approachable, bombastic, lovable, prescient, irreverent, artful, self-referential, intimate, aggressively nuanced, abrasive, physical, life-changing, acoustic, interactive, innovative, poignant, disruptive, stripped down, bizarre, aesthetically pleasing, charming, streamlined, efficient, forward-thinking, pragmatically Marxist, and most importantly, fun.

Sorry, Marissa Cooper.... VIVA LA BAM!